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Sunday, July 12, 2009
I guess I din't delete this blog after all. The last previous time i log in this, was April.
Now it's July.. Time passes really fast eh...
I Love Ryan. I seriously do. And ALOT more than anyone could imagine.
And of cuz, whenever i blogged here is when i feel depress or sad or whatever.

I might be going crazy soon.
I dunno why i couldnt handle my life now.
When ever Ryan replies me with cold sms, like only a word or something w/o smiles.
My minds always wonder to the past when he broke up with me twice.
I'm still hurt. Though it's just a scar.
Scars do hurt sometimes - physically or non-physically.
I cried hard, when he is not around.
I want people to know! But I dun want them to know I'm such a crybaby.
I hate it when I cry easily....
But i don't know what to do! It's like your trying to walk without legs or hands...

I tried to distract myself from thinking, but it just won't go away..
Those words.. He said so easily to me... To him I'm just a ..... woman...
I........... dunno what will happen to me again if he leaves me.
I dun even dare to think of that.. even though i know he will ...... somedays...............
All I could do is cry. What else.
Though i have so many friends around. and good friends..
I feel so... far to reach out for them.. I wanted to call.. but my hands will not press the buttons..
I want attention from everyone, but..... I HATE IT.
Well.. Nobody will understand this kind of feelings i have. I'm adnormal i guess, always think too much.. i also cant help it..

Please don't leave me.
I love you.


& Love ain't is about sacrifice